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A member of HelloCare’s Aged Care Worker Support Group recently reached out to members for advice for her mother who was caring for her husband living with dementia.

“How do you prevent the lines of spouse and carer from becoming blurred, and can you prevent it?” she asked the group.

Sarah’s father, Simon was diagnosed with dementia in 2017, and initially her mother Janine assured him she would care for him at home right until the end.

But over time, Simon gradually lost his ability to perform daily tasks. Even making a cup of tea became difficult.

The drift in the relationship from Janine being wife to carer had begun.

With Janine performing essential personal hygiene tasks, it became difficult for the paid carer to take over those jobs.

“It came to a point where dad didn’t let the carer help him. There was a person coming in to help him shower, but in the end, mum had to continue showering dad,” Sarah told HelloCare.

Simon started seeing Janine as only his carer.

Janine said she and Simon remained affectionate “right up until the end … but it was a different relationship. I was a mum again.”

Simon’s decline caused Janine to feel a profound sense of loss. For 55 years, she and Simon had been a strong partnership and they had always worked well together, making all decisions jointly. Full story is found here: https://nationalseniors.com.au/news/latest-news/blurring-the-lines-between-spouse-and-carer-a-dementia-care-story?